Vous vs Tu

Friday night we met the other BSIB kids at one of the apartments in centre-ville (downtown) since several people had just gotten back from trips or arrived from the States and we all wanted to catch up. We ended up going down to one of the bars for a drink, which was really fun. Almost everyone, except the 3 girls in the dorms, was there and the atmosphere was great. At one point, a boy from the table of French kids behind us bumped into Maggie (there was about 3 inches between their chairs), so we all ended up talking, which is exactly what all the Americans have been hoping for- a chance to practice our French and learn about the locals.

Most of the people there weren't students, but they were all close to our age. It really wasn't the girls who came over though, which I've heard is pretty common among French women. They're not "girlfriends" like we are in the states. It's a competition for men instead. The guys, on the other hand, were just talking to everyone, boys and girls alike. I was talking to two of them and it was so cool to hear their opinions on things. We talked about the new president- they were so curious about our opinions on Obama- and I asked about Sarkozy. We also talked about musical preferences (Coldplay), their opinions about Reims (apparently it's a town with a lot of "money," the kind of well to do people I could see coming from Carlsbad), etc. I ended up being the translator for my side of the table, and I know I was still making a lot of mistakes, but it was great to practice with people who couldn't care less. They would speak to me in a mix of English and French, and I'd speak back as well as I could in French.

When the conversation started, I was addressing them with the formal "vous" (which is also plural). At some point in the conversation, however, we all just slipped into the less formal "tu." Technically that form can be used with anyone younger or around my age. However, I get nervous about offending people and just stick to the formal until I know the other is ok. I don't mind the formality though, and I actually appreciate it in a lot of circumstances. Addressing the vendors at the market, for example. There's a certain degree of politeness that says two people in a transaction respect each other. Or at a restaurant- using "vous" means that someone isn't my servant, but a person in a trade that's worthwhile. Just like being called "Madame" here by vendors doesn't bother me- they're respecting me as more than just a young girl. It can also be used icily- giving someone an attitude is so easy by just changing the tone of voice and the accent on vous. I might miss the intricacies of the language when I go back to speaking to people in the States.